Hindu parents- you’ve failed!
To all the parents offended by the title, brace yourselves—I am going to be offending you even more. My question to every Hindu parent reading this is: what have you done with your children? No, seriously—what? Let me share a story that explains my concern."
I studied in an all-girls college. 70-80% of my college had a Muslim population. The day I went to take admission, I saw almost everyone in burqas. It was an all-girls college, so I expected this.
College started, and I made some new friends. There were six of us. I was the only Hindu. I started hanging out with them, having fun with them. I enjoyed their company. I had read somewhere—who you sit with decides who you stand for. You become what you hang around with.
One day, I met an old friend of mine who, after meeting me, said, "Richa, your vocabulary has changed, haan?" I was confused. I questioned what she meant, and she said, "nothing, just the new words you use."
My vocabulary did become just like theirs. Saying Inshallah, mashallah, allah! had become very normal to me. Each sentence had these words.
They never asked me to use their words; it just happened. Now obviously there's no problem in using these words. But they aren't mine. This is not what I am supposed to say.
I come from a very different, liberal religion. Even when we are atheists, we are Hindus. I come from a family where puja is a daily ritual, where Vedas and Puranas are read out loud.
Yet, their words overpowered mine.
I felt out of place. I wanted to fit in with them.
A friend of mine from the group told me, "We aren't even supposed to eat the food you offer to us. I just eat because we are close." I was happy that she was hanging out with me. It was not cute. Setting aside our friendship—it was pure hate. It was what she was taught all her life.
Another friend told me she wanted to get a tattoo but her parents wouldn't allow it. I obviously gave her the idea of getting a tattoo maybe on places that would be covered. Her reply: "Upar wale ko kya muh dikhaungi? Allah ke paas bhi jaana hai." (How Will I show my face to allah?)
I was stunned for two reasons:
- Why fear? Mahadev, Ma Kaali, Sri Vishnu—aren't we his/her children?
- Because I was never taught to think "Bhagwan ko kya muh dikhaungi" before doing anything wrong.
They made their children look at life through the lens of Allah, and we Hindus? We have let modernity wash away all our Dharma.
Now, my dear uncle and aunty, for the love of Shiva, ask yourselves: how much does your child know about your religion? If they see their friends cracking jokes about Mahadev, Sri Ram, Sri Krishna, Ma Kaali, do they have the guts to stop them? Forget standing up for their religion—are they even mandir-going Hindus? Or forget that—does your child even use words that belong to our culture?
When an army man gives up his life to protect us, does your child call them shaheed or balidaani? If the answer is shaheed, ask yourself why. Ask yourself why you did not teach your child about your own religion, your culture.
Do not put this on them.
I see this as a parenting failure. They will never sit to listen to kathas. They don't have that patience. But go back in time, when they were kids. Four to five-year-old children. Did you make the effort to make Ramayana interesting for your child by saying, "Bhagwan Ram and Sita jungle se wapis aeroplane mein aaye the"? (For those about to become parents—my five-year-old neighbor loved this; it works. Any five-year-old child will replicate the behavior around her. We all used to watch the old Ramayan and she sat with equal excitement.)
Or when they turned 12, did you tell them Sri Krishna said in Mahabharata to always be in good company? Did you give them the example of what happens when you are in bad company, just like Surya Putra Karna?
They turned 18—did you tell them that in life, you will always have to fight for yourself, just like Arjun did in Mahabharat? Or when they turned 25, did you tell them that just chanting or turning towards adhyatma can help them make life easier?
If the answer is no, what muhurat are you even waiting for? How dare you bring your child into this world and not teach them about Dharma or the way to live life? It is your duty as parents to show them the path, give them the knowledge.
Give them the gyaan; let them apply it. Don't wait on others to protect your dharma. Make warriors out of your children.
See, your children are never going to sit and tell you, "Oh, tell me about Varaha Puran or Matsya Puran." Forget that. We would rather watch Netflix.
Here's what you can do: When they just sit around, tell them the tales of Mahabharata. Tell them about Ramayana. Tell them how Mahadev, Sri Krishna, Sri Ram—how all of them suffered. When your kid comes running and crying to you, ask them to turn to Ishvara. Give them a Bhagavad Gita. Let them read it. It will help them in the long run.
For the ones with tiny babies, four- to five-year-olds: did you take them to watch the Mahavatar Narasimha movie? Or is Peppa Pig and 120-minute stupid Ranbir Kapoor rom-coms going to shape the way your kid looks at the world? Don't expect your child to be a warrior when cheap Bollywood songs are what you feed them.
It's my humble request to all you lovely Hindu parents: Your child won't sit by himself/herself. Make it interesting, make it appealing. Start when they are young. Make them know their religion. When you just sit, tell them stories, give them questions to research. Make them love Sanatan.
"Aaj kal ke bacche puja-paath mein interest nahi rakhte!" Wrong. You give them iPads for 12 hours because you do not have the patience to sit with them. You feed them plum cakes on Christmas but forget Tulsi Poojan and wonder, "Oh, why does my child not pray?" No child is born disinterested in Dharma. They learn what you show them.
Don't blame your children; blame yourself. If you don't teach your child Dharma, then you also don't get to complain at 70 years old and say, "Oh! Our religion is doomed."
Celebrate their birthdays when they are very young in temples; teach them the concept of daan-punya. It's never too late. And if they're older, maybe around 20-25, trust me, they need Mahadev and Sri Hari Narayan more than anyone. They are struggling in some way. Turn them towards our religion. Help your children.
My message to you all is: Raise your children in Dharma, or watch them be raised in someone else's.
