How To Steal A Continent In 12 Easy Steps

The inside story of how Washington turned Europe into its concubine without firing a shot.

The first rule of the Great Energy Heist is: you do not talk about the Great Energy Heist. The second rule is: Europe doesn't get to have cheap energy anymore.

There is one surefire thing about rules—someone always breaks them. And when they do, you get to see how the most audacious geopolitical skull-duggery in modern history actually went down.

Step 1: Plant the Seed

Circa 2010. A respected American official stands at a podium somewhere, smiling that practiced Washington smile and drops a casual suggestion. "Hey Europe, maybe you should buy our expensive gas instead of that cheap Russian stuff."

Nobody thinks much of it. It's just another American trying to make a sale, right? But this isn't a used car lot. This is economic warfare disguised as friendly advice.

Your boss calls you into his office and suggests you might want to find a new apartment. You think he's being helpful. Six months later, you're fired and homeless. Same energy.

Step 2: Build the Dependency

While Europe pats itself on the back for windmills and solar panels, Germany makes a decision that will look, in retrospect, like economic suicide. They shut down their nuclear plants. You know, that one way to make electricity without needing anyone else's permission.

It's like throwing away your savings account because you heard piggy banks were more environmentally friendly.

All, while they're taking in millions of refugees, who cost money they don't have, funded by an economy that's about to lose its main competitive advantage. Whatever could go wrong ?

Step 3: Rearrange the Furniture

It's 2014 & Ukraine's government gets a makeover. Out goes the Russia-friendly president, in comes the Western-friendly replacement. The Obama administration provides "support" for this transition, which is diplomatic speak for "we helped orchestrate this mess."

Moscow notices. Moscow is not pleased. But that's the point.
You want to anger your neighbor? Start messing up their backyard. Ukraine was Russia's backyard. Now it's America's project.

Step 4: Tighten the Noose

NATO keeps expanding eastward. Every few years, another country joins the club that exists specifically to contain Russia. It's like slowly encircling someone's house with barbed wire while insisting you're just being neighborly.

Russia's getting more paranoid by the year, which is exactly what Washington wants. Paranoid countries make stupid decisions.

Step 5: The Price Shock

2021 is here and Russia starts turning off the taps. Not completely—just enough to make a point. Energy prices go ballistic. Ten. Twenty-fold increases. European heating bill go from $200 to $4,000 in twelve months.

This was Russia saying: "You want to play games? Let's play games." Europe should have seen this as a five-alarm fire. Instead, they treated it like a temporary inconvenience.

Step 6: The War Begins

2022 - Russia invades Ukraine. The world loses its marbles, as intended. But there's one thing that nobody talks about: Washington has been waiting for this moment for over a decade. The war isn't a bug in the system—it's a feature.

Step 7: Cut the Lifeline

Nord Stream goes boom. The pipeline that carried cheap Russian gas to Europe ends up in pieces on the Baltic seafloor. Officially, nobody knows who did it. Unofficially, everyone knows, and everyone pretends they don't.

It's the perfect crime. The murder weapon disappears, the victim bleeds out slowly, and the killer gets to play the concerned neighbor.

Step 8: Sell the "Solution"

With Russian gas cut off, Europe suddenly needs energy from somewhere else. Guess who happens to have LNG export capacity that's been building up for over a decade? Howdy Europe !

It's like burning down someone's house and then offering to sell them a tent. At premium prices.

Step 9: Lock in the Dependency

European industry starts hemorrhaging. Manufacturing becomes uncompetitive overnight. Companies either shut down or move production somewhere energy doesn't cost a fortune.

Within two years, Europe goes from industrial powerhouse to economic dependent. And it wasn't a gradual decline. It was controlled demolition.

Step 10: Provide "Security"

With Europe economically weakened and Russia next door, suddenly everyone needs American military protection. It's a protection racket with better PR.

Pay up or get invaded. The same business model organized crime has used for centuries, except now it's called "NATO Article 5."

Step 11: Prepare the Pivot

Now comes the really clever part. With Europe neutered and dependent, America can start making nice with Russia again. Not because they like Putin, but because a Russia allied with China is more dangerous than a Russia brought back into the Western orbit.

The Arctic is opening up. New shipping routes, new resources. America wants access, and they'd rather not compete with a Sino-Russian partnership for it. And sitting in the Oval Office is a shrewd businessman.

Step 12: Enjoy the Spoils

Europe is now America's energy colony. They buy expensive American gas, depend on American military protection, and have lost the economic independence to chart their own course.

Meanwhile, Washington gets to play the victim. "We didn't want this," they say, counting their money. "It's Putin's fault."

The Beautiful Simplicity of It All. Create a crisis, offer a solution, lock in the dependency. It's the oldest con in the book, just played on a continental scale.

Europe thought they were allies. They were actually marks. They thought they were partners. They were actually targets.

The only people who seem to have understood what was happening were the Russians, and by the time they tried to stop it, the trap was already closing.

And the most messed up part is that It worked. Europe is broke, dependent, and grateful for the privilege. Russia is isolated and burning through resources in a war it can't win. America controls the energy flows and the security arrangements.

And somehow, nobody's supposed to notice that this was the plan all along.

The first rule of Energy Club is: you do not talk about Energy Club.
The second rule? Europe doesn't get to have cheap energy anymore.
Game over.